Friday, March 16, 2012

A Rare Friday Posting

Copper! I'm obsessed. So obsessed I've made a picture story: The Making of The Base of One Component of A Bracelet. I hope you like it.

Our story begins with a sheet of 24 gauge copper and a pair of wire cutters. See the cutters? See the sheet? See the square missing from the sheet? That was the wire cutters. Cut wire cutters, cut!

The square is sharp and pointy. Bad pointy! Bad, bad square! I will cut your corners with the cutters. No more bad pointy corners to make us bleed. Bleeding is bad. It will ruin your finish, base of bracelet component. It will also make Mommy cry and cry.

What is that a picture of? Is it a picture of Mommy using a random orbital sander to smooth out your edges? No, it is not a picture of Mommy using a random orbital sander to smooth out your edges. Mommy thought she took a picture of the component after being sanded by the random orbital sander but Mommy apparently drank too many highballs and really shouldn't be operating random orbital sanders. Mommy is bad! Bad, bad Mommy!

Look at you! You have holes punched into you. Look at the hole punch that Mommy got for her birthday right next to you. Why did you let that puncher punch two holes right through you? Defend yourself, Component! Awww, component won't fight. Component is a pacifist. Component is also inanimate. There, there component. One day those holes will be filled and you'll be joined with other component brothers and all of this hole punching will suddenly have meaning.

No! No more violence you cry! But you must be beaten. Beaten with a rubber mallet against a spray paint can. Pow! Pow! Pow! Now you are slightly rounded. Don't you feel better, Component? You will make a better bracelet if you are slightly rounded, I think. Plus, you will embrace your embellishments with a warm welcome this way. Don't you want your embellishments to be welcomed? Of course you do. Now take your beating like a good Republican wife*.

Here is our friend, random orbital sander. He will massage all our hurts away and clean your surface of any grit or body oil. What is that you say, Component? Randy is grinding your outer surface away? Well, of course he is. How else are the dirt and oils going to be removed? Don't worry. Think of it as a facial scrub, only with 150 grit sandpaper.

Now the fun part. Mommy's gonna burn you and then drown you. Repeatedly. Turn on the torch-fwoop. Dunk in the water-fsst. Fire! Water! Fire! Water! Until you are all red and orange and blue and purple. Isn't this fun?

One last thing, Component. Just as the sander can grind away your new, pretty patina, so can every day rubbing after a while. A final coat of lacquer to fix your new look permanently and you are good to go.

Look at you, how pretty! Yes you are! Yes you are, my pretty, pretty baby. What a good component you've been. Good boy. Whose a good boy? You are! My pretty, pretty good boy!

*I don't usually talk politics in this blog but Wisconsin Republican legislator Don Pridemore really got my goat.

Queen of Sheeeba's Etsy
PinkSlinkie's Artfire Studio

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