I Hit A Wall

With the prospect of any muscle I may have wrangled sneaking out the side door this morning, I am despondent. I've come just about as far as I can alone. I cannot lift the remaining frame to put in the dumpster and I cannot carry the lumber needed to start the new frame from Home Depot by myself. And I cannot kill everyone in my immediate family because it's obvious now I need them for even the most basic of life's functions -- like building a shed.

This is probably a good thing. There is a rhythm to keeping my Etsy shop properly stocked. Well, not properly stocked so much as adding new inventory every week day at noon and 5pm. Part of that rhythm is making at least 3 pieces of jewelry a day. Since the shed project started last Saturday, I've made 3 pieces total. Not good.

The thing is, I sit down with my board and wires and beads and tools and all I can think of is that mothereffin' shed. Maybe I can wrestle that last piece of frame onto the shopping cart, wheel it over to the dumpster and then use my back to hoist it over the lip. Is it possible to carry one 7 foot 2 X 4 from Home Depressed at a time until I've got all the lumber I need? I could drag the remaining board out of there and clean the area up, fill in holes and level it out so that it'll be ready for the frame when (and if) it finally gets made. Goddamn, my household is full of slackers who piss me off and think just because I'm unemployed I have gained superhuman strength and should be able demolish and build a shed all by myself. What a bunch of biotches!

And then no jewelry gets made. My mind is so stuff full of shed and anger that there is no room for even a glimmer of an idea for a pair of earrings. I did make these earrings last night but they are not a new design. They're a pair of much loved earrings that got sold that I made minor changes to.

No matter how hard I tried to concentrate on earrings, all I could think of was this.